I seriously cannot believe it has been almost a WHOLE YEAR since I wrote on here, it is crazy just how fast time flies by.

Hello, how are you all? Most of my readers may have forgotten who I am by now and I don't blame them, in the world of blogging taking a year off near enough is a bloody long time! I don't know why I am back now really, I just really wanted to write again and this seemed the most obvious place of course so I dusted the blog off, gave it a good shake and logged back in. Good to blow away the cobwebs and all that.

So, where exactly have I been and what I my blog plans from now on then eh?

Well where I have been since I last posted in August is a bit of a long ol' story so I will keep it as short as possible: In a physical sense, when I last blogged we were renting our house in Basildon and were quite content but as things got a bit uncertain with regards to renting my mum offered for us to move into her house to save for a mortgage so that is what we did in the first week of the new year and that is currently where we are still living. We have bought a new build house in NORFOLK which is still being built and should be ready to move into September / October time (you only get two weeks notice as to when you can pick up the keys so I don't know any more on the date than that) we still have our two bunnies although they are no longer house bunnies and live in bunny towers in my mums garden (and are currently enjoying the sun, well the shade really but they like the nice weather!) they will be coming with us when we move too of course (not looking forward to moving them from Essex to Norfolk). Ummm, and I think that is just about it! I have been buying bits and bobs for the house as I go along, trying to find suitable places to store them in the meantime. I cannot wait to unbox them all and lay them out in out brand new home although am not looking forward to going back to paying all of the household bills once again! haha. Our house is a three bed detached so plenty of room for us three and for me to have an office! Yay! I have already been planning how it is going to look.

I cannot believe we will finally have our own home, that is OURS. No more rental agreements and no more landlords. After writing this I think I am going to go back through old blog posts for a trip down memory lane as I started this blog when we lived in our first home - our flat - which seems another lifetime now. The great thing about writing a blog is it is an online journal and it is truly humbling / thought provoking to look back on old posts to relive days gone by and other life experiences which we were living through then. Life changes so quickly and it is easy to forget things; the activities you were doing every day once upon a time, the places you were going or the friends you were seeing. Having this blog reminds me of all of that.

The other big thing that has been going on in my life is depression. Depression and anxiety. They have always been there, gnawing away at my feeble, gullible brain but the last year or so has been particularly bad, probably the worst. BUT, since October last year I have slowly and surely been making changes to my life and thought process to fight back and live a happier, fuller, more content life where I can just be happy being me. I will talk a little bit more about my journey and stuff on another post because right now, today, I feel pretty good so don't want to talk about it as it makes me feel low. But I do want to cover it a lot more on this blog and share my experiences and tips to help others. I used to be so ashamed of suffering depression; I hid it from everybody and while I still probably don't talk about it as openly as I should do I have finally admitted to myself that I suffer from it and made peace with that. After all, I suffer it but it doesn't own me or define who I am as a person. I am also more honest about how I feel with my husband in the hope of making him understand it a little bit more or at least have some clue as to what I am thinking on the dark days (rather than him just thinking I am a moody cow) I have also opened up about it to family and close friends, something I thought I would never do. These steps along with a few other small ones have already made great changes in my life and while I know I have a long way to go yet and that I will fight depression every day for the rest of my life, I am determined to make the most of my life and my time on this earth.

DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY WON'T STOP ME.

So, here on my little bloggy woggy I will document my life and my journey, my brand new ways of thinking, my determination to live more in the now and let go of worrying what tomorrow brings. To be mindful and content and not expect anything more from life than what I have right now. To learn to accept myself for who I am, what I look like, the mistakes I have made and appreciate who I am and love myself. To share my tips and experiences and ideas and life choices to hopefully inspire or help others.

I guess what I am trying to say is, this blog will go back to what I intended it to be in the first place; a diary of thoughts, memories and life experiences. I will be able to look back over it on days where I feel shitty to remind myself how far I have come and to remind myself it is just a bad day, not a bad life.

It won't all be misery I promise! I am actually a very funny person you know. No really ;)

I hope you will join me!


(P.S. this blog will get a revamp and be renamed at some point soon too, when I can figure out exactly what I want to do!)

In the meantime if you want to follow me on social media, my faves are Instagram and Snapchat, both - nickikinickie

Bye for now xxx