Tuesday, 20 May 2014
MOTHERHOOD | The pressure to be Supermum.
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| SLEEPING BABY: It's easy this parenting lark right!? |
Us women put so much pressure on ourselves. I am basing this fact on myself and conversations I have had with other girlfriends whether they're parents or not.
With regards to my personal pressure and relentless quest for perfection, I really don't know where it comes from. I have this need to be amazing at everything that I do whether it is housework, making dinner, putting on make up and more recently; being a mother.
Anyone close to me will tell you that I panic about the house when it isn't clean and tidy but more so, I get agged that despite there only being two adults in this house it can go from looking clean and tidy to a slum in a matter of hours. How?! I know I spend a lot of time cleaning or tidying and probably do it too much but to me, it is because it always needs doing, A house never stays tidy for long. I cant stand noticing dust on the TV or cobwebs in a corner, crumbs - or in our case hay because of the bunnies - on the carpet. I think I worry what people will think if the house isn't presentable. That people will judge me by my own critical and stupidly high standards. I totally know I need to get over it because at the moment Savannah is a little baby but one day she will be running around with sticky hands and throw toys everywhere.
I don't want my obsessiveness to stifle her childhood.
That being said, I know there is one thing a lot of mums out there will relate to and that is the need to feel like supermum. I think once you are a mum you naturally release super powers anyway; you suddenly become able to survive on very little sleep as well as take your multi tasking skills to a whole new level. This usually goes something like; holding the baby, making their bottle whilst on the phone to your mother in law, pulling a load of washing out of the machine and counting your new wrinkles. You don't put on make up or even get a chance to shower some days when they're cranky. You study their every move and get to know them, you feed them when they're hungry, comfort them when they cry. You find yourself in an endless cycle of washing all their little clothes, bibs and muslins and find yourself covered in sick or milk daily (All whilst in your scruffiest clothes which you have now resorted to wearing so your nice stuff doesn't get ruined). You are their world and they become yours whole heartedly.
It is non stop even when they sleep because as soon as their eyes are shut you know that's the only time you have to get other stuff done and you don't know how long you've got! Sometimes you just want the time to sit and have a cup of tea but most of the time you're quickly tidying up, having a shower, sorting washing or one of the other 2934857546363 tasks needed to do that day.
I genuinely did not realise how hard motherhood would be. I knew it was, everyone tells you that it is life changing but you really don't know HOW life changing it is until they arrive and it happens to you. Nothing prepares you. That being said, they are amazing and it is a rewarding if not sometimes unappreciated job. No one thanks you for your hard days work but seeing your beautiful baby smile at you is thanks enough (sometimes).
So, with this being the hardest job in the world already, why do the media seem to want to make us feel inadequate by splashing endless articles across their websites and magazines about celeb mums who are back at work a week after giving birth or have lost their baby weight in 2 days. I do really think the culture we live in makes it even worse for women and yes, I know we should just ignore it all but sometimes you can't.
The sensible side of our brain tells us that it is unrealistic and that they have personal trainers, dieticians and nanny's on hand to help them but sadly the unsensible part is slightly larger and overpowering and tells us we should be looking the same as them by now and makes us feel pretty crap.
They make it all look so easy!
Some days when you're tired, you haven't worn make up in so long you have forgotten how to apply it and your hair is a dirty mess, you can feel really ugly and inadequate. You can feel as though you have aged a decade suddenly and that even though you are proud of your post pregnancy body, it is looking very sorry for itself. Hormones still play with your emotions weeks after having the baby and your body shape changes for weeks after too so the last thing women need at this life changing time is to feel inadequate because they don't fit straight back into their skinny jeans!
I guess, after all that rambling, what I really want to say in this post is this:
Mums, you are amazing - you are doing an amazing job and your baby loves you more than anything. Right now you are their world, they want to feel your cuddles and hear your reassuring voice, it doesn't last forever, they change EVERY DAY so sod the diets, sod the magazines. Enjoy this time with your precious bundle. It will get easier and won't be this way forever (and like me you will no doubt master applying make up while holding a baby too!).
Dads, you guys are amazing too. You support us, you take over when you get home from work and you say the right things (hopefully) Your baby loves you to the moon and back too.
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5 comments:
Oh honey, look at you- not only a baby sleeping but perfect hair and makeup too! You ARE supermum!
I'm not a parent yet, but I completely agree with everything you are saying, make the most of your baby, the house will never stay tidy, your eyeliner might smudge, or not be applied at all, but who really cares... its about those first moments with your baby that are once in a lifetime! Enjoy it xxx
Oh bless you, this was a good day! Some days it's unwashed hair and covered in sick :)
Savannah has already changed so much in 10 weeks which goes to show how quick it goes! best to enjoy it definitely, the house will still be messy tomorrow.....!
xx
It's so nice to read such a post of a mummy who is a super woman and complaining and moaning about how difficult it is. I'm sure it is very exhausting, which I'm still about to fin out one day, but I love being inspired by strong women who make me believe it's worth it :)
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Lu, www.balgarka.co.uk
You're very kind. It is the best job in the world because it is very rewarding! Sure you have days where you may not think that but when they smile at you or progress that bit more it is oh so worth it! You will love it when it happens for you. Thanks for reading xx
I have a very lassez faire routine when it comes to house work. Used to be easier when I could throw my newborn in a baby carrier and work the house, now that he's a 2 year old...help me god if I tried. Well, I do try and I just get stressed! Mondays are my "do the laundry, sweep the floors, clean the bathroom day". Other days is just maintenance :) Good luck! Breath, and keep it simple! It gets....easier. Wish I was telling you the truth lol! It does though. My son has his own mini sweep, helps bring dirty laundry to the washer, and is just the cutest little helper there is. It's all worth it :)
Lyssa
Optimismproposal.blogspot.ca
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